The Making of a Man Part 4

♪ Well good morning up on our life ♪ ♪ Let's stand and sing to the king this morning ♪ Man, if it wasn't for the blood of Jesus, we would have absolutely nothing to sing about. But praise God, that he sent his son to sacrifice for us. Come on, let's praise him this morning. (gentle music) ♪ Everything change ♪ ♪ It's getting harder you recognize ♪ ♪ The person I was ♪ ♪ Before I can be blessed ♪ ♪ I don't want luck is too ♪ ♪ And I don't want luck is too ♪ ♪ I've been washed from the inside ♪ ♪ I've been washed from the inside ♪ ♪ How they do you ♪ ♪ How they do you ♪ ♪ I know it was a blind ♪ ♪ Couldn't hold me for the blood ♪ ♪ How they do you ♪ ♪ How they do you ♪ ♪ I know it was a blind ♪ ♪ It could have only been a blind ♪ ♪ Come on, let's give him praise this morning ♪ ♪ I cannot explain ♪ ♪ But nothing's more real than this ♪ ♪ In the presence of God ♪ ♪ With my heartiest feelings ♪ ♪ With my shame at the wayside ♪ ♪ And my seeing at the most high ♪

♪ I was washed from the inside ♪ ♪ I was washed from the inside ♪ ♪ How they do you ♪ ♪ How they do you ♪ ♪ I know it was a blind ♪ ♪ Could have only been a blind ♪ ♪ How they do you ♪ ♪ How they do you ♪ ♪ I know it was a blind ♪ ♪ Could have only been a blind ♪ ♪ Thank you, thank you, my ♪ ♪ It's been about ♪ Come on, let's declare this this morning. Come on. ♪ It's never been about performance ♪ ♪ Profession ♪ ♪ We're striving for a safety ♪ ♪ Let me tell you ♪ ♪ It's only by the blind ♪ ♪ It's never been about ♪ ♪ 'Cause early ♪ ♪ Or behind me ♪ ♪ It's a gift that's free we're given ♪ ♪ Let me tell you ♪ ♪ It's only by the blind ♪ ♪ Does anybody wanna be holy ♪ ♪ You righteous ♪ ♪ You're a mighty smallest ♪ ♪ Let me tell you ♪ ♪ It's only by the blind ♪

♪ 'Cause everybody wanna be worthy ♪ ♪ We're here ♪ ♪ Just to find anything ♪ ♪ And let me tell you ♪ ♪ It's only by the blind ♪ ♪ How they do you ♪ ♪ How they do you ♪ ♪ I know it was a blind ♪ ♪ 'Cause they want me to hear the light ♪ ♪ How they do you ♪ ♪ How they do you ♪ ♪ I know it was a blind ♪ ♪ Could have only been a blind ♪ ♪ Could have only been a blind ♪ ♪ Could have only been a blind ♪ Let me just do this one at the pump. ♪ How they do you ♪ ♪ How they do you ♪ ♪ I know it was a blind ♪ ♪ Could have only been a blind ♪ ♪ How they do you ♪ ♪ How they do you ♪ ♪ I know it was a blind ♪ ♪ You could have only been a blind ♪ (audience applauding) And then it's only by the blood of Jesus that we are set free, that we are washed, clean. And this morning, we get to celebrate with people who have made their decision to place their faith in Jesus Christ

through baptism this morning. We're gonna celebrate the decision that they've made, we don't believe that baptism is what saves you, but these people are coming before the church this morning and they're saying, I have decided to follow Jesus and they've placed their faith in the wonder working power of the blood of Jesus. And we're gonna celebrate that today so as they come in and out of the water, would you cheer and let them hear you this morning before we get to that, we wanna share with you one story of life change in this place. (gentle music) Christ is making me a better man just by making me realize what's truly important in my life. It's about serving others and being grateful for what you have and ultimately glorifying God because ultimately he is the king and we're just here to glorify him. The turning point for me has honestly been recently in us going through the next steps class. I've really felt the positive affirmation of the things that I believe and feel. We started doing the next steps just as something that we just wanted to kind of grow in our community and in our faith and come to find out we're actually launching a whole new church. We're in a gym Monday through Saturday and then on Sunday we get to transform that place

into the house of the Lord and we get to glorify him. It's not about where we are, how many people are there, but ultimately we're there to glorify God and ultimately to grow our lives with Jesus. I think that worship and music is one of the closest ways to get to God, especially when I'm up there on stage and I can see everybody in the crowds just lifting their hands, their smiles on their face, they're crying, just all of the emotions. You can feel Christ when you're singing. You can feel Christ when you're worshipping. Man, there's really nothing better than being on that stage and just truly feeling his presence up there. To me, to be baptized, it means to be going public with your faith. It means that you want everyone to know that you've been saved, that God is your savior. It means to me that you're shedding your old life and you want to start fresh and you want to start living like Christ. How I feel that Christ died for me, the one word that I can think of is grateful. How else could you explain it? I mean, God sent his only son to die on a cross and give the ultimate sacrifice so that we could be saved. I would say some words of encouragement for those of you out there who do have, you know, you're one who is a little bit distant from God. Don't give up, you know, keep praying, keep bugging him.

You know, my wife, I was her one and you know, she kept on bugging me, she kept bringing me to church, but ultimately that led me to Christ, you know, and who knows where I'd be today without it. The a-life to me is obviously living abundantly. So it means to me that we get to spend our lives being like Christ. It means that we get to spend our days glorifying him. It means that we get to spend eternity being with God at his feet and living the best life possible. Praise Lord, we are grateful for all the Lord is doing in this place. Let's just sing and celebrate who he is and what he's doing this morning. How deep the colors of the earth have us feel on edge that he should get his only son to make a rat his treasure Oh, brave the pain of seeing us The Father turns his face away As worlds which admire the truth You won't bring any sons to glory This is all You took my place as heaven This perfect tone. Like your jeans. I'm with a man. Upon the rise. My sin. I stream upon his shoulders. He'll shake the ear out my voice. Hold on. I'm on the star first. It was my sin that held him in. Until it was a college. His dying breath has brought me life. And I know that it is it. This is love. You took my place as heaven turned away. This is love. You're more than dead. I never could have it. I'll see those scars upon your arms. I know you'll never fade. This is love. Perfect tone.

I won't boast in anything. No gifts, no power, no wisdom. But I won't boast in Jesus Christ, amen, in his death and resurrection. What should I get from his reward? I can't forget an answer. But this I know with all my heart. His wounds have been more and more. I'll thank your jeans. Hold on. I'm with a man. And I know with all my heart. I know with all my heart. I know with all my heart. I'll see those scars upon your arms. I'll see those scars upon your arms. You took my place as heaven turned away. This is love. You're more than dead. I never could have it. I'll see those scars upon your arms. I know you'll never fade. This is love. Perfect tone. You took my place as heaven turned away. This is love. You're more than dead. I never could have it. I'll see those scars upon your arms. I know you'll never fade. This is love. It's perfect love. This is love. Perfect love. This is love. Perfect love. It's love. So I throw my head and raise you again again. Cause all that I have is a heart. You're more than dead. I'll see those scars upon your arms. I know you'll never fade. ♪ I'm always looking for you ♪ - We'll be thanking this place for what you're doing. Amen, would you give him praise this morning? Man, he's doing great things in this place today. We're so glad that you're here. Would you take the next couple moments, greet the people around you this morning, welcome them into church today. (gentle music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) - Abundant life, give Jesus all the glory today. Would you praise him with me?

So worthy, so grateful for all the baptisms today. Hey, Ripkin, thank you for sharing your story with us, some of the first baptisms at our new Northland campus. And Ripkin, you were a part of that. We had our first baptisms this past Thursday night, at our Thursday evening service. And so I'm so grateful, aren't you, for all the people taking the next step, going public with their faith in so many today. We're getting ready for our men's weekend, this weekend, gentlemen. And if you can't make it in here, because it's sold out really, really quick, I hope you will have a watch party, maybe in your home, or grab some guys, I'm gonna tell you, it's gonna be revival for men. And the reason we're in the series leading up to this weekend is 'cause I'm absolutely convinced that when men love and lead well, everybody wins. And so ladies, I hope that you have listened carefully this month as well, because I'm convinced this is a much for you as it is for our men too. And we wanna provide more opportunities in the days ahead for men to really connect. A lot of times, the way men really connect is around shared activity. And so one of the things we're doing is creating opportunities for men to gather, because honestly, discipleship isn't just Bible study.

It's partly Bible study, but discipleship is really community, growing together spiritually, one with another. So I just got back from our first ever men's pheasant hunt in South Dakota and meet the great orange army of 2026. So I want you to know what we're doing this again. The best conversations happen around a fire pit. And so we're creating these opportunities for men to connect around various activities. You don't have to be an avid hunter to go on this trip. The next one is next year. I want you to have the dates ahead of time so you can plan. It's November 29th through Friday, December the 3rd. We're doing other trips, our current river trip for men, maybe some backpacking opportunities. If you like golfing, we'll do some golfing opportunities guys. I don't golf to be honest with you, but I sure do dig a lot of holes when I try. But listen, this about discipleship is not just about fun 'cause I'm convinced when men get together in these types of sheer activities, life begins to happen. And so I'm grateful for those of you who went on this trip. We've been in this series, we've talked about the definition of what it really means to be a man. This definition gives all of us as men something to aspire to, something to reach for, something to run toward. It gives us a sense of destination.

And so I wanna go over this again because this definition is really the destination we're running after, a real man rejects passivity, accepts responsibility, leads courageously and expects the greater reward, God's reward. So once again, Joe, I'm not gonna ask you to stand your feet at every campus, at every church house. I want this to be deeply burned into your hearts. What does it mean to be a man? This is the definition I taught my little boys when I was trying to raise little boys into full grown men. And it's something that might become part of the vernacular of your home as you raise your sons into be full grown men. So let's say this together, a real man rejects passivity. - Excess responsibility leads courageously and expects the greater reward, God's reward. - And gentlemen, I am convinced some of the greatest men alive on this planet today are standing on their feet right now. What an honor to be your pastor, what an honor, what a joy. And ladies, give it up for your man right now, would you? Because I really mean that. Some of the great men alive today are standing on their feet. You can be seated. And I'm praying for revival. I'm believe we need a revival of biblical masculinity. a revival of men, and that's what is happening

in some capacity and awakening is taking place. Men are stepping into the God-given call upon all of our lives. And this series hadn't simply been about the definition, this is what we do, but more importantly, it's about what we are, 'cause we do what we do, 'cause we is what we is. It's what we need to understand, who are we as men? What has God called us to be? And what we've discovered, those four things, is Jesus shows us the way, He shows us the model. There are four things that Jesus is, and four things in our life that we ought to aspire to be. So like Jesus, every man, it's called to be a pastor, a priest, a prophet, and a king. And that's been our four-part series this month, a pastor, a priest, a prophet, and a king. Has nothing to do with titles, has nothing to do with degrees. It doesn't mean you'll ever preach a sermon from a platformless in my own dad, never had a title, pastor, but he preached a sermon every day by the way he lived. I want you to understand, it's not about degrees, or how much you know theologically, it's about understanding your God-given identity. Last week, Chad Glover did a great job preaching on what it means to be the prophet of your home, the prophet of your family, the prophet that speaks the word of God into the life of others.

So I want to talk about this right here. What's it mean to be a king? Remember, Jesus is the king of kings. He's the high king of heaven. But the fact that it has this title king of kings implies he's not the only king, he's the high king. But check it out, there are other kings. Did you know in Revelation one and verse six, it says he made us to be both priests and kings, and we will reign on the earth. Revelation five and verse 10. He's made us to be both priests and kings, and we will reign upon the earth. See, as a priest, it's about worship, but as a king, it's about rulership. And I want to talk today about what that looks like practically for men to understand God's called me in some way to be a king. Remember what Jesus said in Matthew six, 33, seek you first the kingdom of God. Listen carefully as a king that serves the high king. It's about letting first the king rule in your own life. You can't lead as a king if you're not bowing the knee to the king of kings. And I want you to see that God has called all of us in some way to the righteous rulership of members of God's kingdom to serve the high king of heaven. Now listen, historically, kings have used their titles and power for their own gain, for their own fame, but we're gonna see this a different kind of kingdom.

And that means we're a different kind of king. Historically, kings demand that others give their life for him, but we have a king from heaven who came to give his life for them. You see it's a different kind of kingdom, and that means we're a different kind of king. Now we've been comparing and contrasting the first Adam and the last Adam. The first Adam, of course, the father of us all, the last Adam, 1 Corinthians 1545 calls Jesus the last Adam because he wants to connect the dots to the first Adam. And everything the first Adam was meant to do, and he failed to do, the last Adam will finally do, he will complete the mission where the first Adam failed. And I want you to understand what happens. Every single day we have a choice as men. We can walk in the shadow of the first Adam who did not reject passivity. He did not accept responsibility. He refused to lead courageously. He went for the small reward of the moment. It's for the greater reward, God's reward, that would come later. I want you to see every single day, we can walk in the shadow of the first Adam, or we can live in the light of the second Adam, Jesus Christ, who did in fact reject passivity. He chose instead to accept responsibility. Though he was sinless, he was not guilty. He died for you and me personally.

He died to give life to his bride. I want you to understand. Every single day we have a choice. The first Adam or the second Adam. Now check this out as we talk about being a king. What's that look like? What's your thing about the first Adam? God created Adam we've seen in his own image, in his own likeness. And then he tells Adam to do what? Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth. Now listen, Adam was not meant to fill the earth with sons of Adam and daughters of Eve. No, he was meant to fill the earth with sons of God, all of which bear the image of God. You see, God would have established his kingdom on the earth through the first Adam. And check this out. God had given according to chapter one of Genesis, verse 26, God gave him dominion over the earth. That word dominion implies power and authority. You see, God had given Adam dominion because he was gonna be king over God's earthly kingdom, but understand what happened. There was a counterfeit king. And when Adam sinned, what happened? When Adam sinned, that dominion was transferred to Satan so that now there's a counterfeit king that reigns over the nations, over the kingdoms of this world. Have you ever wondered why the world is so jacked up?

I mean, it's so full of wickedness and evil and depravity. How did it get that way? I'll tell you how it got that way. Because the first Adam sinned and that dominion was transferred to Satan to Asserts John 5, 19. The entire world lies under the power of the wicked one. This is not allegory, this is not a metaphor. This is a study of Christian anthropology. It's our origin story. How did we get here? It says in the four in verse four that Satan is the God little gene. Now there's only one God, big G, God Almighty. But it says Satan is the God little G of this world. He's the God of this age. And currently the nations are under his kingdom authority instead of God's kingdom authority. But what happens, Jesus comes and he bears the cross because on the other side of the cross was a crown. You see, Jesus is the true and rightful king. And one day soon, the true king of heaven is gonna return to the earth, will title lead in hand. He's gonna look at a counterfeit king and say, get off my land. But in the meantime, what do we do as kings? We advance the kingdom and bring glory to the king. Now I want you to see again, back in Genesis chapter two, where it all began.

As we study what it means to be a king, comparing and contrasting the tale of two kings, the first Adam and the last Adam. I might even say the tale of three kings, the first Adam, the counterfeit king Satan, and the last Adam, the true and living king. Genesis 2, 18, it says this. And the Lord God said, it's not good that man should be alone. I'll make a helper comparable to him. How many of you gentlemen are thankful that God looked down at you one day and said, it's not good, that man should be alone. Man, you guys are learning. Well done, quick, yeah. I'm glad God looked down a pastor Phil one day when he was not pastor Phil, just a young man named Phil and said, it's not good that that man should be alone. I'll make a helper suitable for him. But understand what's going on here, guys. Look, I've heard this verse so misused and like weddings and things like that where the pastor will say, well, you know what? It's not good that man should be alone. Adam was lonely. He needed a companion, someone to complete him. And I'm sitting there going, no, that's not at all what's going on at that verse. All right, listen carefully.

Adam was a bachelor, but he was not lonely. You know how I know he wasn't lonely? Because he walked and talked with God face to face. The fellowship don't get no better than that. Yeah, he wasn't lonely and check this out. He did not need someone to complete him. He was made in the image and likeness of God. It doesn't get any more complete than that, amen? I'm trying to tell you, if you're single, I want you to understand something, you are complete already as a child of God. You can't marry somebody hoping that they will complete you when people get married hoping that person will complete me instead of completing, they end up competing. Because only the God who made you and created you can complete you, a human being can't do that for you. So that's not what's going on in this verse whatsoever. No, what's going on is not that he needed a companion to complete him, he needed a helper because God had given him a commission. That commission was to establish a kingdom in his offspring. That commission was to reproduce the image of God across the face of the whole earth as he'd been made in the image of God. He was in fact a son of God. He was to create the sons of God, the children of God in his offspring, in his family tree before he sinned. I want you to understand what happened here. Listen very carefully. He's alone, he's a bachelor.

I don't know if you realize this or not. If you're a single man, it's gonna be hard to be fruitful. If you stay a bachelor, it was gonna be hard for madam to multiply by himself. So God says, I'm gonna make a helper suitable for him. Somebody to help him fulfill this commission. Now, I want you to see what happens next. I don't have time to read the whole text, but God takes him actually for a walk, kind of let's say a walk through the zoo. All the things that God has created, all the animals that God has created, all the animals that God has made. The next thing we know what happens is God is showing him all the animals and Adam is naming the animals. Hard work, hippopotamus, or ring a tank. What's God doing here? This is simply God taking Adam for a walk through the zoo. No, he's showing Adam, there's nobody here for you. There's nobody here like you. Adam, animal life is not the same as human life. No, we're not on the same level. We're not the same thing. Adam, you really are all alone here. So I want you to see what happens next. Adam goes into this deep sleep, a supernatural surgery takes place. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam and he slept. And he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib, which the Lord got it taken from man, he made into a woman and he brought her to the man. Now remember, all of this is a picture in some way, a foreshadow.

There is another Adam that will come. The last Adam, 1 Corinthians 15, verse 45, the Lord Jesus Christ. And God is doing this in a way as to paint a picture prophetically of another Adam. What will happen someday? What is this deep sleep? No, this is not just Adam taking a nap, getting some Z's. No, what is this deep sleep? This isn't simply God putting him under anesthesia to keep him from having pain during the surgery. No, this deep sleep is a supernatural sleep. The Hebrew word here for deep sleep actually implies death. It can sometimes be translated as death. Now listen, I don't know this for sure. I'm speculating somewhat, but I know this for sure. The Hebrew word can imply death and over and over again in the Bible, Old Testament, New Testament, what is sleep? Sleep is a euphemism for death. Sleep is a metaphor for death. I don't know this for sure, but I think it's possible on this day that God is going to take from Adam's side and bring a life from his for his bride. I don't know this for sure, but I think it's possible that Adam died. Because what this is a picture of is a death in a resurrection of another Adam someday. Think about this, Adam goes into this deep sleep at a minimum. It is a picture of death prophetically pointing to the death of Jesus, bringing life to his bride. And I want you to see what happens in some way. It is a picture of what Jesus would do on the cross as God reaches into Adam's side and brings forth his bride. There's another Adam someday hanging on a cross whose side will be pierced by a Roman spear and out of his side will pour forth this blood that will give life to his bride, you and I see it's a picture of the cross.

It's a picture of what Jesus would do someday as the last Adam when he comes to undo the curse of the first. What are we learning? What we're learning is true love is sacrifice. You're not loving if you're not bleeding and Jesus in fact gave his life to give life to the bride. And in some way, prophetically, that is what Adam is now demonstrating that out of his side would bring his bride. I want you to understand that through Adam's death, God brought life to his bride. That is you and I. Now, here's what happens. He wakes up from the supernatural surgery. Did he die? Not sure. Think maybe. Perpetically, in some way, metaphorically, he died to illustrate that Jesus would, in fact, as the last Adam give life to his bride. Now, just think about that. He wakes up from this deep sleep and he has never seen a woman in his life. I mean, up to this point, all he's ever seen is hippos and artvarks and ring attains. I mean, he's going to open his eyes and see the most beautiful sight he's ever seen in his life. He's going to see his wife for the first time. And you know, we have the spontaneous utterance of Adam. I mean, he wakes up probably shakes his head and there she is. Whoa, whoa, whoa, man, it's a woman. It's my woman. Yeah, it's in the Bible. I'll show it to you.

Here it is. Watch this. Then the rib, which the Lord got it taken from man, he made into a woman and brought her to the man. And Adam said, this is the bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. What in the world is going on here? You would expect him to get kind of romantic here, wouldn't you? I mean, he's met his wife for the first time. You'd expect him to say something romantically charged. Like, whoa, man. Yeah, guys, don't do that. Don't do that. He doesn't do any of that, though, does he? No, he didn't get romantic. He gets theological. It's like Adam knows, as a picture of something else. Don't fully understand it, but there's something else God is doing. This is the very same verse, the Apostle Paul will quote in Ephesians chapter 5 about you and I, the relationship of the bride of Christ with the bridegroom, the Lord Jesus Christ. Paul would say that we are bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh, and in marriage between a man and a woman physically is to be a picture spiritually of that relationship we have with Jesus, the bridegroom, and you and I, the church, the bride of Christ. Listen, the church is called the bride of Christ. We're also called the body of Christ. And right now Adam is recognizing my wife, she is my bride and she is my body. She is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man, therefore man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh. This is the goal of marriage. This was the goal of God before there was sin that brings separation that we'd be one

flesh with another. That's what God desires for marriage because it's a picture of our relationship with Jesus that He is in us and we're in Him and the New Testament uses those two phrases over and over again that we are in Christ and Christ is in us, that we are bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh and they were both naked, the man and his wife and we're not ashamed. That's the goal of marriage to be naked with another and not ashamed, not just naked physically, that part's easy. I'm talking about naked emotionally, spiritually, mentally, total intimacy into me see that's what God desired before there was sin, before there was fall and then the fig leaves came out and because of sin we now hide from each other instead of fully exposing ourselves to one another and I want you to see what we're learning. Jesus and God is using the first Adam as a prophetic foreshadowing of the last Adam. Christ sacrificed Himself to give life to His bride, the church. 1 Corinthians 15, 22. 1 Corinthians 15 is the New Testament commentary on Genesis 2 and 3. As I'm comparing and contrasting the first Adam and last Adam, that's what Paul is doing in the entire chapter of 1 Corinthians 15 comparing the first Adam and the last Adam. Look at what it says, "For as an Adam all die, even so in Christ all shall be made alive." Romans chapter 5 and verse 12, "As by one man sin that was Adam, death entered the world. So death passed on all men, for all have sinned." You see we come into this world spiritually dead, though physically alive. That's why Jesus said you must be born again. What did He mean? You need a second birth, another birth spiritually and only when you put your faith in Him are you born again, you get back all that Adam lost in the garden, you get back the image of God, you get back the title Son of God, you enter the family of God, I want you to recognize all that Adam lost, Jesus recovers and redeems. Now this has been a lot of deep theology, I mean it's kind of been a deep dive right off the, but let me just do this, now I want to make it really practical. I mean I geek out over the theology, can you tell? I'm a complete nerd over the stuff, I think the Bible is so amazing, like only God could

have wrote this. All right, no way men did this, they're not smart enough to do this. But let's just get really practical now, on a practical level, to be a king like Jesus is willing to serve and sacrifice for the people you lead. That's who Jesus is, king of kings, yet he came to serve and sacrifice for the people he leads. And Jesus would put it this way, three and a half years he walked with these men and they were always fussing, always fighting about who'd be the greatest in the kingdom, who'd sit on the right hand, who'd sit on the left hand, it was all about titles, all about position. At one point James and John even got their mother involved, can you imagine sending mom to talk to Jesus for you? Hey, mama, we see, see if you, you got to wait, yeah, we almost sit on the right hand on the left hand, Jesus is like, hey guy, you don't get it, over and over again, you don't understand. Here's how Jesus responded, this is what he said, over and over again, but Jesus called them to himself and said to them, you know that those who are considered rulers over the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them, yet it shall not be so among you, but whoever desires to become great among you shall be your servants and whoever of for even the son of men do not come to be served, but to serve and give his life a ransom for many. You have the king of kings, the high king of heaven. The monarch of the universe, he's saying guy, even I did not come to be served, but to serve and give my life a ransom. This is what it means to be a king in God's kingdom. Now, practically what does that mean? I'll tell you what has meant in my life over the years. 'Cause gentlemen, it's a process of growing up

into being a full grown man. And some of us have full grown man bodies, but we still have a lot of growing up to do. That was me. When I stood at the altar and said I do, it really is a process of recognizing what it means to be a man to walk in that kingdom authority, the righteous rulership of the Lord Jesus Christ, to serve and to sacrifice. For some of us, man, it is time to quit being lazy with that entitlement mentality. Our society is fostering this entitlement mentality. Check this out. First Timothy five and verse eight, it says this, "If anyone does not provide for his own household "in the eyes of God, you're worse than an infidel." Do you understand what that means? God hates lazy. A man goes to work to provide for his family. And I can tell you this didn't come naturally to me. As a young man, I'm telling you, I suffered from honestly a physical reaction. It was physically debilitating for me. Every time I got around anything that looked like work. It was a physical reaction to work. Wherever I got, I mean, I was all about fun. I was all about football, but when I got around work, I'm just telling you I had this physical reaction. I would instantly get tired and just need to go sit down. All right.

So I remember when this began to happen, I flipped a switch, started growing up from being a boy into a man. About 20 years of age, I had a summer job and I made the best money I had ever made in my life. I thought I was rich. I worked out on 435 here in Kansas City, the interstate and I was doing bridge construction. And I made 15 bucks an hour. I mean, I thought I was rolling in the dough, 15 bucks an hour. Chris and I are going on these hot dates every weekend. I mean, red lobster every Friday night. I can afford it now. Yeah, fried shrimp and lobster, red lobster. I mean, this is amazing. The only problem is they don't just give that money away. You got to work for it. And I had to be at the work site at a ridiculous hour. I mean, I had to be there by 7 a.m. every single day. Who does this? I mean, does anybody even up at 7 a.m. Seriously? I mean, honestly, can we not just start at 10? We've all had a good night's sleep. Not only that, it's hard work. It is nasty. It is hot. I mean, all day long, I'm out there. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.

I mean, just boop, boop, boop, all day. I'd go home, my hands would be stuck like this from the jackhammer, boop, boop, boop, all day long. I don't know if you know this or not, but concrete dust. I don't know if you know what it does to your sinuses. It is snotty. I mean, it's nasty. TMI, I know, but I mean, it's awful. And I hated this job. I hated it so bad. And I remember along this time, talking to my dad, 'cause for the first time, I'm old enough to realize what he does for a living. As a little boy, I remember hearing the alarm clock go off in his bedroom at 545 AM every morning. I remember as a little boy hearing the front door of the house open at 605 AM every morning, hearing my mother kiss him goodbye at 605 AM every morning, hearing the door shut behind him at 605 AM every morning. And there he would be for eight hours, sometimes a double shift, 16 hours a day. What I did not know at the time, I was learning about 20 years of age. He worked on a loading dock all of his life. He got on a forklift for 41 and a half years and loaded insulation onto 18-wheeler semis for 41 and a half years of his life. I'm 20, I'm starting to realize this, what he does for a living is what he does every day. I asked my dad, "Dad, how do you get excited

about going to work?" I'll never forget what he said. He said, "Son, I've never been excited about going to work, but I sure have been excited about taking care of my family." - Amen. - Oh, that's what it means to be a man. Check this out, you don't have to be fulfilled in your work. [ Laughter ] They pay you for work. My dad was not fulfilled in his work. He was fulfilled in his family. See, that was his identity. This is a man being a king over his castle, laying down his life daily to provide for his family. That's what men do. And I remember pulling out on the 471 morning, shortly after that conversation. And I was dreading this day. I didn't want to go. And there I am pulling out on the interstate with thousands of other cars flooding the interstate, most of them filled with men. And that's when it happened. I flipped the switch. As I looked at all these men going to work, I thought, this is what men do. Get a job. Young ladies, if you're dating someone, and he has no plan for his future. He has no plan for how he's going

to take care of his family financially. Run! Because you're going to have to take care of that, man. That's not your job. I've had these conversations with young ladies in our church over the years. Like Pastor Phil, I'm engaged. And his name is so-and-so. Really? Well, tell me about him. Oh, he's amazing. Really? What makes him amazing? Well, he's really cute. Good? Good? Well, tell me more. Is he in college? Is he playing for his future? Well, no, he went one semester. He's taken a year off. Well, is he working somewhere? Well, he's tried a few things. Nothing's really worked out. Where's he living? I want his grandma's basement. Oh, well, let me ask you a personal question. Is he sleeping with you? Well, so let me get this straight. He's really hot, but other than that, he's a loser.

I mean, really? He's not prepared to get married. He's taking something it's not his to take if he's sleeping with you. That's not kingdom leadership. I want you to see this is the pattern. Listen carefully. Sin, gentlemen, will cause you to lose your dominion. How did Adam lose his dominion? He gave it to Satan, how? Because he submitted to Satan. He submitted to sin. Do you understand this is what Satan wants to do in your life, in your home, in your family? A counterfeit king attacked the first family in the very same way he wants to attack your family. Listen carefully. You cannot walk in your kingdom authority while you're looking at pornography. And you wonder why your wife doesn't want to follow your lead. Listen, people only follow to the degree they trust you. It's not about titles, it's about trust. What in your life tells the people you lead they can trust you? This is the age of body counts and sleeping around, friends with benefits. This is the cultural method of dating now. I'm trying to tell you what you're doing is bringing dysfunction into your future marriage by the disobedience you're doing now while dating a single.

I'm telling you, listen, you're training yourself to play the field. We wonder why there's so much dysfunction and divorce within marriages today. Listen very carefully because of the cultural method of dating. You've been sleeping around, casual sex. And you think you suddenly are going to stand at an altar and say, I do, and become a one woman man? That's not how it works. You've trained your flesh. You've trained your fallen nature. Instead of training your fallen nature now, preparing for marriage someday to give it away to one person so we got in 10 to the age of, well, people live together. You've got to try it before you buy it. Take it for a test try. Do you understand that eight out of 10 people live together cohabitate before they're married today? Now watch this. There was a time in once Christian America where that almost never happened. Today, 80% of couples live together before they're married. Thinking is going to prepare them for marriage. In 1960, 20% of couples cohabitated together. Now watch this. 1960, 20% of couples cohabitated together that a divorce rate was nominal, almost unheard of. Today, 80% of the couples cohabitated. See, the social science does not back up this idea that I'm preparing for marriage

because we're gonna take it for our test drive first. No, the social sciences, it does nothing to give you a successful marriage in the end. You know why? Because you've wanted all the joy of marriage without the responsibility. You want marriage without the commitment, and all it's done is prepare you for divorce and remarriage. I want you to understand marriage is a covenant, it's binding, it's a revocable. Why? 'Cause it's a picture of the bridegroom Jesus and you and I who said I'll never leave you, nor forsake you. This is why you take a vow for better or worse because it's a picture of another marriage, Jesus Christ, the bridegroom, and you and I for whom he died. What is it in your life needs to die because love that doesn't bleed is not love at all. (congregation murmurs) What sin needs to die. See, Jesus could bear the crown because he first bore the cross. And it's true of all kings in his kingdom. Luke 923, if anyone wants to come after me and let him deny himself, take up his cross. And that means sin has to die. It must be put to the cross. It means self has to die.

It must be put to the cross. And only when you're willing to bear the cross, are you then able to wear the crown? That's what a king does. I can tell you it's a process. It's not one and done. I told you a few weeks ago about a pivotal moment in my life and marriage. I'm 28 years of age. I've gone to North Missouri to go pheasant hunting with my friends and my cop buddies. And it's a weekend trip for the guys. And the only problem is my wife has a little toddler in the house, about one year old, and she's eight and a half months pregnant. And I'm three hours away in North Missouri. And I think I'm gonna get the great husband award because that night, I remember to call home and just check in on my wife and see how she's doing. And I think I'm gonna get the ribbon for being a great husband and you could have cut the air with a knife. Why? I'll tell you why, because I was serving myself. I wasn't serving my wife. That night the child had to die. Children serve self. Men serve others. It's a process. Flip the switch.

I want you to understand the implication. Listen, like Jesus, we only are qualified to lead when we are willing to bleed. Ephesians five, the greatest dissertation ever on marriage. The chapter where the Apostle Paul would quote from Genesis two, what we've just read. Begins this way in Ephesians five, 21. Submitting to one another in the fear of God. Check this out. We're all called to submit, not just women. Men are called to submit too. Mutually submitting one to another. In the same way we submit to Christ's lead, yet Jesus came to submit to our need. That's why he went to the cross, 'cause we needed a savior. And this is marriage that we mutually submit one to another. Now watch this. I'm gonna show you two verses that have been some of the most abused, misused verses in the Bible. I'm gonna tell you why it's important to what it means. Now after we're told to mutually submit one to another, the Apostle Paul says, "Wives submit to your own husbands "as to the Lord." Ladies, listen, he's telling you to submit to your husband and follow his lead in the same way you submit to Jesus. Not 'cause you have to, but because you want to. You choose to. As unto the Lord, Jesus does not make you submit to him. It is something we choose to do.

And in the same way, the Apostle Paul is saying, because your man, your husband is a picture of Jesus, and he's the head of the home, submit to him, not 'cause you have to, not because he's smarter than you, not because he's superior to you, but because you choose to, as a godly woman, you want your man to step into this God-given role. Look at what it says. For the husband is the head of the wife, even also as Christ is the head of the church, and he is the savior of the body, therefore just as the church is subject to Christ, so let wives be to their own husbands in everything. Now listen, the Apostle Paul is assuming that you are married to a godly man. He's not saying these verses to a woman that's married to an ungodly man. And these verses have been weaponized, even in the church for a long time. These verses have been abused and misused for a long time to frankly give men cover behind the historic male chauvinism That's not what Paul's talking about here. What he's saying as ladies, you are an essential part of the program. He cannot do this without you. What he's saying is if you're married to a godly man, give him a chance to lead. Trust God enough to trust him. And I watch this happen in my own home, watch this. It has nothing to do with your husband being smarter than you

or more capable than you. You may be smarter than him. It simply has to do with recognizing the God-given role, the function that brings flourishing to a family. I'm on my own.